Alright, so six days into neighboring St. Maximillian church and I still haven’t figured out the rationale behind church bell ringing. They do seem to start at 06:00 and sometimes finish at 22:00, but that might only be once a week, or I have been far too exhausted to be woken by the bells at that time…or care when they finish.

Yesterday was a 7:30 wake up call, with instead of just the two chimes signifying half past the hour…all out mayhem in the bell tower with every bell ringing for about five minutes. Certainly too early for church, especially one weekday. No one could possibly be married at that time and have the city sign off on such a racket so early in the morning. This morning, the same but 09:30.

I have now grown accustomed to the bell ringing, and am wondering why Vancouver has no regular chiming. A few strategically placed bells throughout the city might eliminate any excuse for being late for class. Fashionably late would no longer be fashionable. My skipper might make it to the dock on time. This may require a little research, but to get the bell ringing in that Ukranian church between Oak and Cambie might be a good start.

I am sure there are a few staunchly opinionated locals that would not welcome such a proposal though. Those professional protesters would be woken from their beds from before noon inciting more protests. Someone will also draw the parallel between regular bell chiming and church as an infringement on practicing religion freely. Birds would be chased from their natural nesting grounds under the bridges and atop lampposts. Businesses would close on time, not according to any sped up clocks. Busses might actually be there when you expect them to be…not 2 minutes early.

Maybe some non-descript phallic towers set throughout the city that emitted both melodic notes and a beam of light. How about embedding speakers into the pavement at intersections. Another option might be pulsed radio waves that resonate those almagum fillings or hip implants to the tune of Camptown Races.

Any further thoughts of suggestions?